I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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