If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
