im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
