Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The Olympian is in my bed
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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