the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
