Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
