I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
