Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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