yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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