Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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