He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
