PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
