It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
