I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
