And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
