terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
