yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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