I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
