just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
