: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Randomize
