I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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