Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
