I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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