yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
