And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
