it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
