If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
