no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
