so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
