i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
