ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
how drunk are you?
Several
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
