I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
