Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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