i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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