I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
everyone is single if you try hard enough
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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