i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
