So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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