I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
