Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
