I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
