shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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