why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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