Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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