I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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