bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
