So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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