So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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