Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
