so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
