Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
